The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm too high and old for this...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
