She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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