his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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