don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize