3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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