oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
