the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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