My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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