I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
