But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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