ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize