he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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