the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We got so high we made milksteak
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
