What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I think my vagina is haunted
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
