She's JV to your varsity
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
