Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
