I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize