Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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