So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
