what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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