god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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