fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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