i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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