Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
