are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
