ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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