3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
