is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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