Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
