I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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