Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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