Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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