he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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