in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So much Jack, so little girl.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
