4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
