Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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