My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
