He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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