Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
