Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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