I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
