one two three fourrrrnication!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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