Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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