Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
