they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
