The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can't turn off my feet"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
