So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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