I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
