I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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