I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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