Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
