Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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