found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
