yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
