Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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