Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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