If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
