no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
