so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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