so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
