so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
